I’ve had a mixed relationship with letting go in the past.

When I was about to get married over 20 years ago, I was part of a big extended family conflict. In the end my Godparents, and cousins, including my maid of honor, decided to not come to my wedding just two weeks before the event. There was so much hurt and pain for me. 20 years later, none of us talk.

I knew I would need long term healing from this estrangement. I also needed to find a way to let this go before our wedding. I didn’t want the pain from this to overshadow the joy and celebration.

The week before my wedding, I went to the beach with some friends. I chose 5 rocks to represent the people involved. I held each one, and said their name and the following:

I wish you love.

I wish you peace.

I release you.

And I threw the rocks into the ocean.

I’ve been designing these little rituals for myself for as long as I can remember. I’ve always needed something physical to make the letting go process concrete and real. Years ago, a Shaman taught me the importance of bringing the spiritual into the physical world.

I’m in no way perfect at this. I’ve held grudges and resentments far longer than served me (and certainly not anyone else.) I’ve called friends and family members and said, “Hey, can I beat this dead horse some more?” The worst is when I’m aware I’m doing it… and do it anyway.

I have found time and again, the ONLY way for me to truly let something go is to move through and with it to allow release.

What do you need to let go of this fall?

Do you even know?

Do you have a sense that there is something you are holding onto?

Is something holding you back from taking your next step?

Do you know how to let this go?

If you find yourself singing Frozen too often and not knowing how else to Let It Go, I’d love for you to join me for my upcoming Letting Go workshop.